The psoriasis lesions on the skin affects the dating and relationship prospects of a person for obvious reasons. After all, positive self-image and confidence plays a major role in dating success, and, living with psoriasis can make someone self-conscious and nurture poor body image and low self confidence over a period of time.
Various surveys and case studies have observed that the people with psoriasis consider their skin condition a major obstacle in pursuing dating or romantic interactions. (1, 2, 3)
When gearing up for dating, you just can’t ignore psoriasis or the possible challenges associated with it. So, it’s better to devise a proper strategy to ensure that psoriasis does not become a deal breaker for you.
Before I begin to discuss the game plan for a fruitful dating experience, let me remind you that key for happiness in your life is in your hands. If you feel yourself worthy, lovable and attractive, you would definitely discover a partner who would feel the same way. But, if you are seeking a partner because you don’t feel good about yourself and expect that person to do it for you, I am afraid that’s not going to work.
Now, as you understand that feeling good about yourself is the pre-requisite for dating with psoriasis, here goes the successful dating strategy in detail.
Taking good care of yourself to be attractive
Before you start making efforts to find someone interesting, it is important to brush up your overall personality and make yourself desirable and attractive.
Psoriasis does not define you. It is just a small part of you and as a person, you have got a lot more to offer. So, it is important that you feel good and confident about the things you have to offer as a person.
Having a visible skin challenge is definitely a drawback to an extent, so why don’t you make up for that with other impressive personality traits such as a positive attitude, integrity, nice and well-shaped physique or a sense of humor. Many of the women (and men) do consider a sense of humor sexy and hot. So, do not underestimate the power of it.
If you are experiencing a psoriasis flare up, better to see an experienced health expert to get the things under control. Along with treatment, lifestyle changes also help a great deal with reducing the severity of psoriasis symptoms.
Drink enough water, eat a sensible diet, adopt a healthy lifestyle, regular exercise, enough sleep, and of course, stress management. Cutting down on alcohol and smoking is also important. All these efforts are going to improve your skin condition and make you feel better.
When I talk about taking care of yourself, it is not just limited to the skin condition but your overall well being.
Do remember that being attractive is not just about a flawless skin. But, it’s a total package of confidence, appearance, sense of humor, and professional success.
Determine when to reveal about psoriasis
It is up to you to decide that at what point you want to disclose about psoriasis to your potential match. If you are using a dating app, you may mention it in your profile bio or you may prefer to disclose it during one to one interaction. For some, it’s important to talk about it during their very first meet as they don’t want to keep it a secret for long, while others would rather wait till they develop a certain level of comfort with the potential match.
What the experts say about it?
The dating coaches and matchmaking experts suggest that you should avoid writing about your health issues or any other weaknesses or insecurities in the profile. Rather, such things should be discussed with your significant other during one to one discussion so that you have the option of explaining your point of view thoroughly in a proper way. Otherwise, if your potential match picks psoriasis from your profile description to do some internet searching and check all those scary images of severe psoriasis, you would lose that person immediately.
Be yourself to beat the stress
Dating anxiety and the feeling of insecurity is a perfect recipe for stress, which is an infamous trigger for psoriasis breakout as well. In your pursuit to find someone interesting, a psoriasis breakout is the last thing that you ask for. Hence, ease down, relax and allow yourself to showcase the real you to the potential match.
A relationship built on the foundation of fake personality traits, that does not belong to you, would not last long and would result in disappointment only.
Be open and honest about psoriasis. Own it.
The best way to own your skin condition is to talk about it. Don’t let the potential match make random guesses about it. Tell them that it’s an autoimmune skin condition that cause overproduction of skin cells. Also, do not hesitate to share about the non-contagious and non-harmful nature of it.
When you talk about it confidently without feeling embarrassed, everyone else would also not make a big issue out of it. On the other hand, if you take it as a weakness and try to hide it or hesitate talking about it, how can you expect others to take it as a normal thing?
If your date got some genuine queries about psoriasis and want to know more, you may share some reliable online resources that provide correct information. It would further cement the impression that you do not intend to hide anything about it.
Have an appetite for rejections
Rejections are very much a part of the dating journey. Sometimes people reject you and sometimes you reject people. Neither of them is a great feeling. But, with psoriasis, you have to develop a certain level of de-sensitization to such events else it can take an emotional toll on you and trigger a psoriasis flare up.
If people reject you for psoriasis, it’s alright. No need to hold grudge against them because if you put yourself in their shoes, it seems understandable if they do not feel comfortable to have a partner with a chronic skin condition. Just let them go for good. They were not meant to be with you.
Not everyone is going to say no to you for psoriasis, but some of them would do it. Make sure those temporary setbacks don’t bother you for long and stops you from exploring.
Just keep reminding yourself that it may take some undesired experiences before you meet someone really interesting who would accept, support and love you with or without psoriasis.
Be patient- don’t rush into it
It takes some time for two people to get to know each other and decide if they are compatible enough to go along well. If your date prefers to take things slow and open up gradually, you should respect their intentions and let the things take their course naturally.
People with psoriasis often lack in dating opportunities and when they have a positive start with someone, it’s a natural tendency to get aggressive.
Forcing a relationship or trying to push the things unilaterally wouldn’t work in most cases, but may play a spoiler.
Don’t settle with someone if not comfortable
You should not settle with someone just for the sake of ‘in a relationship’ tag on your social media profiles or to escape boredom and loneliness or whatever be the reason in your case.
Psoriasis is a skin condition that can happen to anyone. It is not your fault that the medical science has not succeeded yet in bringing a cure for it, right? Hence, if your potential match considers psoriasis a major concern and raises questions and comments that make you uncomfortable, that person is a mismatch for you.
Simply call it a day politely without messing it up and move on.
You know, a breakup at the early stage is far better than at a later stage when you have got a strong emotional attachment.
With psoriasis in the life, it needs a caring partner who would be your number one supporter and advocate, don’t settle for anything less than that!